If you’re familiar with Van Morrison you know the song. It’s about finding someone to make the connection that obsoletes instruction, explanation and understanding. It’s about having all that’s needed to do it right now. No more hows and whys.
For some reason that song came to mind on my way home from my first evening with Shambhala Training. I’ve never sat on a floor listening to a “buddhist” teacher before. I had no special expectations. It was like, well…like I’d expected. Nothing special.
yes I know that everything and every moment IS special but I’m not there yet, be patient
She talked, we listened. She asked for questions, we hesitated.
I couldn’t stand hesitating for long so I spoke, as usual. When someone says – any questions? – I instantly have at least 10, and every answer will spawn 10 more. It’s like the minds Hydra. I restrained myself to a level that parallel socially adequate but it took some effort. Nothing special.
If I sit down with a teacher there’s always the risk of an intellectual Indianapolis 500 death race. I can feel it here too. I have no idea how others prepared for this meeting. I’ve read Trungpa’s book on Shambhala Worriorship as well as Spiritual Materialism and on top of that a handful of scientific papers on meditation. Not to mention Osho Talks and loads of stuff on YouTube. I enjoy doing that. I have no TV, I hardly read newspapers and I don’t find reading novels that exciting. What’s a man supposed to do?
yes I know that hes supposed to sit his ass down and start counting. I’m working hard on my CCr, be gentle
So anyways…ehhhh, where was I…oh, right…no guru…hmmm. Maybe it’s like this; I don’t need someone explaining what this is all about. I need someone to hold me down long enough for the answers to unfold the way they should. That is, in my own body/mind as a result of practice. Maybe that’s as compilcated as it gets? Don’t even has to be a guru of any sort. Better be an intimidating knucklehead saying – Sit down or I’ll meditated you down in this here singing bowl. I’d like one of those scary old Zen Masters who answered chatty know-it-alls with a 2×4 over the head. Maybe not, but you get the picture.
Of course loving kindness would do the job even better, but the loving kind is usually prone to give in to talking, even if it’s rather mindless.
Ol’ Chögyam TR wouldn’t have bought that and hopefully any teacher I get to know won’t either. Ours for tonight, the wonderful Beate, told this story (in short here):
A hot-headed drugdealer and pimp went to see CTR in Boulder. He’d heard about this crazy Tibetan Guru and wanted to have a piece of the Buddas mojo too. So he got his appointment and found CTR on a throne, sitting quietly smiling. The Yahoo sat down and started speaking, but got no response. His frustration grew because he was not used to this ignorance. So he continued talking, faster and louder to evoke some reaction. CTR just sat there and took it all in without commenting on the drugdealers monolouge. After 15 minutest he gently approached the blabbermouth, looked sincerely into his eyes and said;
– Welcome to Boulder…Asshole.