Sum Ergo Sum

Tag Archives: Dualism

That Unfolding

Someone asked me- “How do you act i everyday life after you’ve experienced the awakened state. How do others react to this“?

The seemingly cleaver reader will (like I would) wait for an answer that indicates a dualistic mind at work.
So let me begin with saying: There is no “me” that can choose to act in a certain way. Neither is there a “me” that have had the experience of “the awakened state”.
Mind games aside, here comes the answer:

It’s not that complicated really. If you are conditioned to be an actor playing a specific part in a specific play, you just play along.
The conditioning of this Me-actor  and this play happened, and continues to happen,  without me knowing it.
I did not choose that to happen. I was not aware of becoming an actor and I didn’t know the play was made up by the workings of human mind.
No one is controlling it. There is no author, no director. It just unfolds according to the given conditions.

The Director or Governing Laws of choise (God, Buddha, Brahman, Laws of the Universe, Randomness, Energy, The Divine Power etc) are themselves part of the play. They arise within the human mind.

They arise within the human mind” should also be added to the list above.
“”They arise within the human mind” should also be added to the list above.”  should also be added to the list above.
And the creating of external forces of creation thus grows ad infinitum.

Adding “And the creating of external forces of creation thus grows ad infinitum” makes the whole thing absurd.
When you realize that whatever your mind comes up with should be added to the list, there is laughter.
The play starts to become playful.

So the play is created within human mind because that is how the mind unfolds, how it works. But human mind is not all there is. Human mind is only part of what unfolds in the totality of ever ongoing creation.
Everything else is “What Is”.

What Is can only be understood by human mind.
But the understanding cannot be complete. Mind can only comprehend what happens on the staged reality created by itself. That is, the minds version of What Is.
Therefore, mind is always dealing with itself, without knowing what it does, without being mindful of itself.

The eye seeing everything but seeing itself.

The answer to the question is simply that I keep acting like before. I know my part and I know the play. It follows the rules of the dualistic mind.
It is about dividing, understanding, predicting, controling and achieving.
We all know the play, don’t we?
The difference now is that I know this is a play. I know my part is based on the basic premises of the play. I know these premises to be an artifact of the human mind. Nothing more, nothing less.
I also know that this knowledge, just like any knowledge the “I” can “have”, is part of the play.
It is in a sense artificial knowledge.

The concequence of this “knowing” is that I can play my part without being caught up in it, as if acting/action was all there is. When circumstances allowes for it, I can take my costume of and watch the play as a spectator. Relaxing in a comfortable seat, amused and amazed.

Just sitting
Just looking
Not acting

Gradually I have come to value this play for what it is. To become a true spectator made me uneasy for a while. I questioned the use of playing along. The acting suddenly seemed like “pretending” to be something I was not. The play seemed unreal.
Thankfully this play-aversion has lost it’s grip. The acting is not for real, nor is it un-real.
It seem like dividing What Is into play vs. reality is just another part of the play.
It seems like – since the human mind is also part of What Is – the undividable, the non-dual, can divide itself while still being whole. 

Not One
Not Two

All of this is of course not true, nor is it not-true.
This is not the way it works, still it works like this.
All of the above has unfolded within the play.
That is all there is.
That unfolding.


The Total Consumption of Something

Exhaustion is not a choice
it is a happening at a certain point
A consequence of other happenings

Exhaustion is the end of effort

Possible only after effort is done
Not small effort, not big effort
But just as much as there was energy
to make the effort possible

Trying to achieve is a choice-like happening
Letting go of effort is not a choice

Letting go is just another form of effort
The “trying to achieve nothing”-effort
which easily turns into
The “not trying to achieve nothing”-effort
which easily turns into
The “letting go of not trying to achieve nothing”-effort
which easily turns into
The “letting go of the letting go of not trying to achieve nothing”-effort

That is The Path

The Path is designed to burn up the energy
driving the desire to become:
Wise Egoless Compassionate Knowing Empty-Minded
Atman One With All The Original Self
Free of desire to become

When all out of fuel
The seeker collapse with the seeking itself
When all out of fuel
No effort is possible
No letting go of effort is possible
The hand can not hold onto anything
Nor can it let go of anything

The concept of desire cannot be dealt with
The concept of aversion cannot be dealt with
The concept of illusion cannot be dealt with
The idea of dealing or not-dealing with anything
cannot be dealt with

When out of fuel there is no way in changing anything
Changing is not an option
and finally change is possible




I’m told to keep my door open
To greet every guest with equal curiosity
No one is to be prefered
No one to be judged
as being good or bad

I’m told that the open door and the open mind
will allow the endless stream of visitors
to flow unrestricted

This is all good and well
but I keep asking
– Why this endless stream of visitors?
– Why do they keep coming?

The answer arise
seemingly out of nowhere
They come to my house
asking the one fundamental question:
– Am I desired or unwanted?
– Am I good or bad?

Answering them as they appear is a mistake
Not answering them is even worse
Say No to your guest and he will occupy your space
Say Yes to your guest and he will disappear
But every visitor, thus dissolved by your acceptance,
will soon come back
Unsatisfied with being erased

The proper way to treat your guests
is to accept them as they are
before they enter your house
before they become yours to care for

Do that and they will find no reason
coming to you for allowance
Do that and the walls surrounding your house
will be what dissolves
Without the walls creating the illusion
of host and guest
No one has to be let in by anyone
No one has to be kept out

The river, once running from here to there
cascades in all directions
I am no longer responsible for the
free or restricted flow
I am myself free, just as the river always was,
to cascade in all directions

The Constant Gardener

Just sitting bores my self stiff
Roshi says “Doing nothing is nice for a change”
My self says “It’s boring and frustrating.
Nothing ever happens. It feels useless”
Just sitting kills my self
We smile

He’s watching my continuus self-icide
I look for distractions, credentials
He gives me nothing
That’s the plan
I suppose…

 If Roshi keeps handing me nothing,
eventually I might get it
Meanwhile my self squirms and moans
Sitting is not boring
It’s scary

 Relentless progress
Letting the tree grow
Just as it stands
Killing the constant gardener

Missing The Point Happens

If you want to learn how to miss points in arguments I recommend this text. It’s an email-debate on trad- advaita vs neo- advaita.

As in any academic dispute there is a lot of “misunderstandings” and “not adressing the critique”. It seems like the more advanced the converstion, the more likely people are to make simple errors in communication. That’s wierd.

So the question is – can you communicate the idea of nondualism in a way that is non-dual without leaving the listener, with it’s dualistic mind, in the middle of nowhere?
The answer is of course “yes but no but yes but no but that’s beside the point”. So as always we’re left with a sense of confusion and wasted time.

I won’t waste your time with a lengthy rambling on this, so here’s a short one:
The brain uses about 90% of it’s capacity on internal affairs and maintenance. That’s why we have the misunderstanding that we only use 10% of our brain power. That’s BS because the brain needs to keep this 90/10 ratio to work properly. The 10% we have for actually communicating with the environment “outside” the brain (rest of our body and everything outside of the physical body) is ideally kept open and ready for action. That is what a zen no-mind is about. That is the state of a flexible mind open for interaction with the world at hand. That is what non-attachment is about, not messing up the flow of interaction between our mind and the environment. A relaxed and alert mind has it’s 10% ready so it can respond directly and efficiently to whatever shows up.

Any practice or non-practice that enhances this readiness is a good practice as far as I’m concerned. Any practice or non-practice that claim part of the 10% is not so good.
It’s not hard to see why almost every instruction or teaching emphazises “letting go” and “non-striving” in order to facilitate progress.
The difference I see between spiritual schools is basically different perspectives on how to communicate this important notion of “relaxing your mind”. Some do it by saying you will not be ready for nirvana in many lifetimes so just keep on practicing with no hope of awakening or liberation. Fine, so you can let go. Mission accomplished. Others say the practice is nothing but a way to let go of your striving and efforts to become enlightened and when you finally give up, the light bulb goes on. Then we have those who say there’s no need for practice at all so you can start your way to liberation by giving up right away.

What all of these seemingly different teachings point to is a way to keep the alotted 10% of our mind open and ready for communication and interaction with our internal and external environment. It’s being decribed as “spontaneous action”, “being integrated with wholeness” or “the end of suffering”.
Bottom line is – if you somehow (by means of any practice as well as no-practice) can avoid having a mind that is like a locked closet full of janitors, then you will be fully functional and able to respond properly whenever reality comes-a-knocking on your sense doors. That’s the state of bliss. On the other hand, if your mind is cluttered with concepts, planning, analysing, memories and interpretations, there will be stress building up because there’s a sens of missing something important i.e. what’s actually happening. So you lose control over the situation at hand which adds to the stress. As stress builds the 10% shrinks and the 90% expands in order to keep track of the mess. You then experience something like a “burn-out” or the feeling of “losing your mind”.

Now, whatever the teaching or non-teaching is made up of, the important thing is communicating in a way that counter this internal stress. Different people may need different messages to get there. Therefore it is perfectly ok to have different styles and approaches to this.

Jeeez, that was NOT a short post and it’s still very vague and…well, a sitting duck as far as misconceptions go.

I’ll go wash my bowl.

There Is No One Doing Anything With Your Mind – Not Even You

Whenever you’re advised to do something with your mind, don’t listen further. At least listen carefully. Whatever the mind does, it does to itself. That is not to say it operates on its own, it doesn’t. It responds to a never-ending flow of internal and external input. Point is, there is no/not one standing outside of your mind able to do anything intentionally pre-decided with “it”. Not even what you usually think of as your “self”.

Imagine the object of such an action. The thing you’re supposed to cultivate or exercise in some way. A separate “mind” considered not good enough, and now you’re told to correct it. You’re supposed to train it and alter the way it works.
Maybe it’s too restless or too unfocused or perhaps it’s too attached to ideas. Some will tell you to develop a Big Mind instead the current small mind. So you believe that to be true. In fact, it IS true. There’s evidence all over the place. A wealth of literature and talk shows all fit so perfectly with your own experience. Others seem to have what it takes and they’re all getting somewhere while you’re stuck.
Damn genes, damn parents, damn education and…well, Dang Me!

Anyways, you’re desperate to acquire a still mind, a clear mind, an open mind or maybe a sharp and alert mind. Fair enough, there’s plenty of practices to go about that business. Teachers will appear no doubt. There are thousands of instructions waiting to be carried out so this could be a full-time job for you. Set everything aside and start your quest for the Right State of Mind. Why not go for the Buddha Mind while you’re at it.
That would be perfect, right.

One thing before you take off into the world of mind altering. Who’s gonna do the job?
Obviously not You for as long as you consider your mind as the very centerpiece of that “you”. I guess most people do exactly that. Stating that “This is Me, but my mind is not part of it” is pretty rare. More often we hear the opposite, like “This is Me and it remains Me even if I lose a leg or both my arms”.

So if you basically are your mind, how could you fix yourself? I guess having your arms doing brain surgery on yourself is ruled out. And even if that was an option, who is going to operate your arms?
You could – apparently by free will – decide to take some LSD and thus have your mind going southwest. Question remains, who or what did it? Was it you, your mind, your risk-taking personality, did the decision decide itself or was Dr. Hoffman in charge? Same thing if you tell a Guru to somehow magically alter your mind. Did s/he do it or did you do it by asking the Guru to do it, or was it maybe the Gurus “mind” that did it?

We can chew on this for eternity without getting anywhere besides totally confused and bored to the bone. Trying to isolate a specific doer or “agent” responsible for causing a likewise specific event that affects an isolated object is just impossible. It can’t be done. Of course it could happen, but to the best of my knowledge it hasn’t yet and I’m inclined to think it never will. Ever.

-So what happens next?
-No one knows!

-So no one can change my mind, not even myself?

-So I’m stuck with what I have?
-No, you’re never stuck because everything, including your mind, keeps on changing    constantly whether you like it or not!

-But I want my mind to change For The Better!!!
-Ouch, that’s as close to a constant no-change you will ever get.

-How do I change that?
-You don’t, but you can imagine doing it. It’s called delusion.

-You’re completly screwed up.
-Cheers my friend. Have a glass of wine.


Discovering a Path To Abandon – That’s The Real Shit

In order to free yourself from your self you must give up the apperance of  a self in the first place. To do that we’re supposed to enter some kind of path towards that very end. When we enter the path, we’re stuck in the beliefe that there is actually someone, me, doing it. It has to be that way. If not we wouldn’t bother with it, right? If no one is there, who’s doing all the required practice?

The purpous of all religious or spiritual practice pointing to the supposed liberation of the true self is to deploy a cul de sac, a path which leads nowhere, a dead end. The dead end can be viewed as a symbol of how seeking, in itself, is an activity leading away from actual life. Paradoxically, it is generally seen as leading towards the much desired “real” life, the ultimate being.

From my current perspective, you are advised to stop seeking altogether. But how is this possible when there’s no one there to stop it, or so I prupouse. Well, you have to start on the wrong foot, like it or not. If there is something to give up there must first be an activity which to give up. If I don’t do anything – which is ultimately true – how can I stop doing it?
Now, assume we’re all searching for something we believe is missing, the first step towards giving up the search is the sense of being a seeker. It is when you define yourself as a “seeker” that the marketplace of spiritual practices appears with all it’s incence, bells, hymns, scriptures, vows, rituals and rules of conduct. It’s a very strange marketplace because it appears as the anti-marketplace. Still it functions as marketplaces do. There’s directors, employees, offices, offerings, merchandice and buissness per usual. There’s nothing bad or good about all that. It just is as it is and that is It.

Anyways, if you, the seeker, buys into the practice of seeking in a very structured way, you have finally something to give up. The giving up has been made possible by this dualistic construction of seeker-practice-liberation. The absurdity is that it works the other way round.
Liberation is already here, so you can drop the practice and then you can drop the seeker. Voilá, what´s left is that which Is. We end up with Everything That Is and the fact that Everything That Is equals Everything That Ever Was as well as Everything That Ever Will Be. It’s omnipresent and all inclusive. The Mother of All Inclusives.

But the way to get here is to first recognize that you are in fact seeking, and then to get there, into the dead end. Striving on the path on which the sense of self is indeed enforced you must try really, really hard. you must meditate, concentrate, jump up and down, recite sutras and sing gospels, rub your chacras, live mindfully, praise the lord and so on.
 If it happens so that the seeker knocks herself out sufficiently on this brick wall of “trying to achieve liberation”, then she might give up the practice. Then it can go either wayI suppose. As long as she doesn’t also give up the “seeker”, some kind of depression may arise. She’s stuck with a “self” that has failed it’s suicide attempt and that’s rather depressing ain’t it? On the other hand, if she drops not only the practice but also the practitioner, there is no one there to have failed. Also, there is no one there that have succeeded. Faliure and success becomes completely irrelevant, and that is maybe the taste of freedom.

What then causes the situation to go either the depressive route or the liberating route?
Well I guess ther is no one to answer that.

Shit Happens. Sometimes “good” shit. Sometimes “bad” shit. Always The Real Shit.

Buddha vs Me 1-0

If all is One, how can you tell?
To know One, you must have a reference that is Not One.
To find such a reference or comparison you can go in one of two directions.
A) Up one step and say “All is not two”.
B) Down one step and say “All is not zero”.
Since going up means there must be duality, that’s not an option, right. With duality we usually don’t mean that All consist of exactly two things, but more than one, and science will in time tell us how many.
So we go to the big Zero, Void or Emptienss instead and say;
All is One since it is not Zero, look, here it is!
Why not leave the Zero out? It is really awkward to say that “All is One but also zero”. We cannot, because One is not possible without the Other, the only other possible being Zero. We must have this “zero/emptieness”- reference point to be able to define One. In fact, a reference point a must have for existence in itself. Defined or not.
So with dry logic, speaking of Oneness requires Emptienss if you also say that everything is interdependent. And as we all know, Buddha says that all things are indeed interdependent.
Now, knowing this is one thing, understanding it another.

Well, that’s my take on the Empty/Form-gig. If I’m just having a bad-brain day, please let me know.